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St. Charles family law attorneysIf you are feeling a heightened sense of anxiety since having the prenuptial agreement talk with soon-to-be spouse, you are not alone. Many engaged couples experience great trepidation when considering the idea of creating a prenuptial agreement. Whether you were the one who had to initiate the discussion because you would like your partner to sign one, or you are the one who was asked to sign, the subject of prenups and hypothetical divorce can be touchy and downright uncomfortable for both parties in a relationship.

The Marriage Business

One of the most obvious reasons the concept of a prenuptial agreement is so uncomfortable for some is that the idea seems to imply by signing one, you are essentially planning to divorce before you are even married. The mere mention of a prenup can be offensive to a person, making the conversation about whether or not to sign very difficult. It is natural to feel as if you need to tread carefully with the discussion. However, every couple, regardless of circumstance or which stance they take on the subject, can benefit from reminding themselves what psychology experts reiterate for us all: Marriage is a business relationship, whether we like it or not.

Here are three reasons engaged couples experience serious apprehension over the idea of signing a prenuptial agreement:

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Kane County family law attorneysIt is no secret that money can cause a myriad of problems for couples, but for some relationships, ongoing financial difficulties can mean the proverbial kiss of death. Experts tell us that money troubles that end up leading to divorce almost always begin with different attitudes about spending and saving. Not surprisingly, they also emphasize the importance of communication. When it comes to money management, a couple’s chances of divorce due to financial trouble is significantly increased when they do not talk about where the money is going and why.

Different Values, Different Visions

Some of the biggest causes behind financial disputes in marriage are different mindsets about money. The realization that you and your spouse’s financial priorities are different usually reveals itself in the following ways:

  • Secrecy: When one partner discovers the other has been engaging in secret spending or sneaky money management, it can feel like a serious act of betrayal. This is especially the case for spouses who find their partner has opened separate bank accounts without telling them. Even if you are comfortable and not experiencing financial distress, a secret stash—even if it was set aside with good intentions—is enough to stir up strong conflict in a marriage.
  • Impulsive decisions: It is not uncommon for couples to experience a rude awakening when it comes to their partner’s financial priorities after a sudden impulse buy. When your spouse shares that they have bought roundtrip tickets to Tahiti for a luxury vacation without consulting you or comes home from work with a whole new wardrobe when they know you are struggling to make rent next month, you may feel these kinds of purchases are not only impulsive, but inconsiderate, too. When one spouse does not feel their feelings, thoughts, or concerns are respected, emotional rifts tend to emerge.
  • Different goals: Even when a couple does communicate about their money-related goals, sometimes those goals themselves are jarring when each spouse realizes how drastically different those priorities are once discussed. For example, one spouse may feel it is time to invest in a new family car, while the other would like to invest in furthering their college education. While it is natural to not always be financially in sync throughout the course of a marriage, if the money goals a coupe shares are consistently clashing and a compromise is not in sight, this tension tends to build up over time.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

When perpetual stress from arguments over money strain a marriage, partners often wonder where they went wrong and whether or not there is any salvaging the relationship. If financis have taken their toll on your marriage and find yourself making the decision to pursue a divorce, you need to speak with a competent St. Charles, Illinois divorce lawyer. Attorney Timothy Weiler is a Certified Financial Litigator (CFL) with experience in complex financial matters in divorce litigation and is well equipped to inform you of your rights and protect your best interests in a court of law. Call Weiler & Lengle P.C. today at 630-382-8050 to schedule your consultation.

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