If you are a parent who is getting divorced in Illinois and you wish to share custody of your children, you will be asked to create a parenting plan. The parenting plan or parenting agreement is a detailed description of how the parents will share parenting time and parental responsibilities. The parenting plan is not merely a formality. A carefully considered and well-planned parenting agreement can reduce co-parenting conflicts, help the parents avoid future legal disputes, and benefit the child’s adjustment and overall well-being. One provision you may want to include in your parenting plan is the “right of first refusal.”

Understanding Parenting Time Schedules

A key element of your parenting plan will be a schedule describing the allocation of parenting time. Formerly called visitation, parenting time refers to the time the child spends with each parent. You may decide that the child will live with one parent Monday through Wednesday and the other parent Thursday through Sunday, or that the child will spend time with a parent every other weekend. You may even assign parenting time to one parent during the school year and the other parent during the summer months. Parents have the freedom to design whatever parenting time schedule meets their needs, as long as it is in the child’s best interests. However, it is also important to consider what happens when a parent cannot fulfill his or her parenting time obligation.

How the Right of First Refusal Affects Parenting Time

Consider the following scenario: A mother is responsible for watching the children on weekdays. However, a work trip requires her to be out of town Monday through Wednesday. Does the mother hire a sitter or ask the father to watch the children on those days? The right of first refusal is intended to address just such a situation.

When you are getting a divorce, reaching an agreement on parenting time can be challenging both emotionally and logistically. It is often hard for parents and children alike to adjust to an arrangement in which they no longer live with each other full time, and with the schedules of several different people to consider, it may be hard to find a solution that allows both parents to make the most of their time while interrupting the children’s routine as little as possible. It is important to think carefully as you create your initial parenting plan and to be open to change in the coming years if necessary.

How to Create a Parenting Time Schedule

During the divorce process in Illinois, the court will usually ask each parent to submit a proposed parenting plan that addresses many important issues regarding parenting time, including a schedule of days to be spent with each parent, plans for transportation between homes, provisions for holidays, and other extenuating circumstances, and provisions for the process of modifying the plan in the future. The court will issue a decision after reviewing both parents’ proposed plans. However, if the parents are able to work together to create a plan, the court will often approve of it as long as the proposed plan is in the children’s best interests.

Moving to a new location after your divorce can help to give you a fresh start, especially if you are pursuing a new opportunity for yourself or your children. However, in Illinois, many parental relocations require court approval to ensure that the best interests of your children and their relationship with their other parent are protected. If you are planning a move, you should make sure you know whether legal action is necessary, and consider how you can help the process go smoothly.

When Does Relocation Require Approval?

The reality is that after a divorce, one or both parents will have to find a new residence, and in many cases, these moves require no special approval. However, in Illinois, the distance of the move can make a significant difference. Specifically, state law requires approval for the following:

The holiday season is often a time of family traditions and togetherness, and while it can bring great joy, it can also be hard for anyone who has recently gone through a divorce. Going from being married to being single is a major life transition, and it can take time to adjust to this new lifestyle. The thought of celebrating without your whole family intact can be sad and overwhelming, but as the 2020 holiday season approaches, it may help to consider some suggestions that can make it easier to bear, and maybe even help you enjoy the holidays again with new traditions.

Suggestions for Managing the Holidays After Divorce

There is no denying that the holidays will look different after your divorce, but that does not mean they have to be something you dread. You can better prepare yourself for the holiday season by considering the following advice:

When you have children, getting a divorce can be especially difficult not only because of the emotional impact on the whole family but also because you will need to consider your children’s best interests along with your own when making many important decisions. However, with some effort and flexibility, it is often possible to reach an agreement on your Illinois parenting plan that works for you, your children, and your ex-spouse.

Factors to Consider in Your Parenting Plan

A healthy family dynamic is possible after divorce, but both parents must be willing to compromise. Your best chance at establishing a collaborative agreement on parental responsibilities and parenting time that meets everyone’s needs is to consider factors including:

Parenting children under the same roof can be challenging in and of itself, but parenting them from separate homes almost always requires an even greater amount of effort. Yet, studies have consistently shown that children usually fare best in a divorce if they have the continued support of both parents. Illinois’ family laws encourage parents to work together in meeting the mental, emotional, and financial needs of their kids during and after their divorce. Most often, this goal is met through the drafting of a parenting plan, which contains two major components: the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly known as child custody) and parenting time (previously referred to as visitation). 

Allocation of Parental Responsibilities 

Throughout the course of a normal day, parents make multiple decisions about their children’s lives and future. While most decisions are relatively minor and require no prior “clearance” or approval from the other parent, there are certain aspects of their kids’ well-being that are considered “protected.” Examples include choices regarding education and religion. Parents also have certain legal obligations to their children, such as ensuring that the children’s medical needs are met. These issues are covered under the allocation of parental responsibilities. 

Under the Illinois Marriage and Marriage Dissolution Act (IMDMA), the law seeks to ease the often difficult transition related to the division of parental rights and responsibilities, including the decision-making authority between the parents in addition to where the children will live. In handling these sections of their parenting plan, some divorcing parents may reach an agreement easily. However, they must also figure out how disagreements will be handled, should they arise in the future. 

During a divorce, parents may develop  a parenting plan that is beneficial for both themselves and their children. Although these plans are often created with much thought and detail, changes can occur that may require a modification. Updated schedules, unexpected relocations, and the children's education or extracurricular activities could cause issues to arise. Depending on the reasons behind the potential adjustment, as well as the agreement of both parents, a court may approve a modification request. Ultimately, the court will make a decision that is in the best interest of the involved children.

What Should Parents Consider Before Deciding Responsibilities?

Aspects of a person's life may change significantly after a divorce is final. For parents that are getting divorced, it is important to reach mutual agreements on key factors that will affect your future and that of your children. For example, the distance between each parent’s residences is a topic that may lead to significant difficulties if either parent wishes to find a new place to live. Although a new residence may work better for one parent, it might not be compatible with the children's school schedule. Furthermore, children may have difficulties adjusting to a new community. The wishes of each parent and the child (as appropriate) should be considered before a parenting plan is finalized.    

Modification Limitations

For children going through a divorce, having a relationship with both parents could be in their best interest. Creating a stable environment for children can help foster their growth and development. According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution Marriage Act, unless the children's well-being is at risk, an adjustment will not usually be made within the first two years of the original agreement.

Too often, children believe that a divorce is their fault and that if they had behaved better, maybe mom and dad would not be splitting up. Parents know that this is not true, but these thoughts can lead youngsters down a path of mental disturbance.

This is why having a proper parenting plan put in place is important for children whose parents are  involved in a divorce. As part of a parenting plan, both parents can decide on a schedule for visitation—now called parenting time in Illinois—after the physical separation of the family.

Keeping Parents Involved

Child development experts and mental health professionals tend to agree that is usually best for children of divorce to have both parents continue to play an active role in the children’s lives. There are exceptions, but children who grow up with only one active parent seem to be at a higher risk for: